Secretly DayDreaming.......

I fight thoughts of him that seem to sneak their way into my mind at random points in my day, they seem to remind me that I care even when I force my lips to speak otherwise

And god forbid I hear his voice, ooh the chills I get as if he were standing right behind me pressed up against my tense body

suddenly I melt....

After all the hell I have been through I never knew that someone else would come into my life and make me feel this way.

Stop It! !

too many disagrees with it

I'm not sure why, and I'm to afraid of the answer to ask the question.....

I cherish the relationships of those who have made it so clear that my desire for him is NOT going to be allowed...

So with a heavy heart I obey their wishes and limit my self to daydreams.....after-all they aren't hurting anything!

Maybe he is not right for me and maybe I am not right for him but I will enjoy the thoughts and daydreams after-all they aren't hurting anything.....

uuugghhh JACQUE!!! FOCUS!!!.....

all you are doing is driving yourself crazy,

but I can't help it sometimes crazy feels good!

I wonder if he even thinks of me....I pretend he does sometimes.

I wish someone would think of me again, want me again , LOVE me again.....

And is it too much to want that person to be him?

Why don't they understand that I am not trying to upset anyone I just can't help how I feel...why can't they support me....am I so damaged that they feel I am not good enough for him?

Just to be on the safe side I will once again bury my feelings deep inside to appease others....

I will continue to daydream.....after-all they aren't hurting anything!