Dear {GOD}

Dear God,
Hey I am glad I finally found you. Thank you for your truly genuine and unconditional love. I’ve searched for so long and had so many heart breaks and let downs that I almost gave up. But, like only you can, you showed up in the nick of time and saved me from myself and the downwards spiral I was heading for. I ask you how you can know all my flaws and faults and still love me the same. You reply because your flaws keep you humble and your faults push you to grow. Besides you are imperfectly perfect. I remember nights filled with tears, confusion, and destruction. I was flooded by a storm from which I had no shelter. I prayed for rescue and even though I could not see you I know you were there watching over me and protecting me. I’m not sure how but I made it through. There was no way out but down. I had been falling for so long I got tired of screaming. But with you I need no physical voice, just the internal voice that speaks from my heart and bypasses the reasoning of logic and sense. You see because you make your own reason and its makes its own sense. People think I am crazy when I tell them I have fallen head over heels heart over mind in love with you. I speak the words because they are whole heartedly true but my action sometimes still contradicts them and for that I apologize and ask for your patience. As in any relationship it takes time to work out all the kinks and give up the I’s for we’s . and I haven’t had much experience in this love thing. I promise that I will do my best and give my all to make this a life long commitment.

Intimacy......What is it?

Webster's dictionary defines the word (Intimate) as belonging to or characterizing some one's deepest nature, or a warm personal and private nature. But what does it mean to me? I've asked myself that for a while and I think I have finally found my answer. Intimacy is knowing me in and out, being so connected that its almost like you can read my heart and mind. Even when I walk around with you a smile you know that under it there are uncried tears and unspoken words....and because you are who you are and we are so emotionally and spiritually intertwined I don't ever have to speak them and you know what to do to comfort me. We are seen by others as one, never to under mind who we are as individuals, but to enhance our strengths and minimize our flaws. I believe that intimacy is not limited to a relationship between lovers but that a intimate relationship can be held by parents and their children, siblings, and friends. To be honest the most intimate relationship I have ever had is between my daughter {McKenzie Ariel Brown} and I. Even before she could talk she knew what was wrong with me and had her own little way to say "mommy, its okay". I hope that one day i will meet someone who i am willing to let into my life and heart and to achieve that special kind of intimacy that makes sparks fly and missiles launch! lol. But if I never do at least I can say I knew what intimacy felt like and it was well worth all the wait!